Sunday, May 12, 2019

Angela


You were an orphan on this planet
Abandoned by your father
Abandoned by your mother
Alone
You fought
Oh, how you fought
Building internal strength
Pushing, stretching, reaching
Creating a life for yourself
Embracing color and light
Speaking your truths
Feisty
Playful
Vibrant
Exuberant   
Alive

Through the years
You fought the monster in your head
As it worked to destroy you
The disease given you by your mother
Another demon
Promised to destroy you
Bit by bit
Day by day

One day
Unexpected love showed up
Seeing past the darkness
To spectacular, amazing you
A dream you'd not dreamed.
You stepped in
Into goodness and love
Into sweetness
And magic

Cocreating new life
Together you loved and welcomed
Your many fur babies
Into Catlandia
A place of refuge and safety

But
The monster and demon
Were too much
We didn't see
We didn't know

You have slain your monsters
And we are left
With an empty space 
Where once there was sparkle and light

All we can do now
Is cherish what was.
Carry your essence with us
And look for the sparkle in others
Who might also be fighting their own
Monsters and demons
Your love and light
Your true essence
 Will remain
Part of us




Fractal images at: http://www.enchgallery.com

https://huntingtonsdiseasenews.com



Friday, May 10, 2019

One Heart Beat



Our hearts are one
As we play our drums
Guitars, voices, shakers and flute
Cowbells, tambourines and dancers, to boot

Many voices become the one
Joining. Flowing
Shining.  Glowing.  
Taking us places
We cannot go alone

Some songs may seem sweeter than others
Some beats might seem a bit . . . off
But
All are part of the one song
in which we live

I am new here
You welcome me
With kindness and love
You tell me my voice belongs
That I have a part in this song

Thank you

Our hearts are as one 
As we sing our songs
Dance our dances
And beat our drums

We are One Heart Beat


http://www.enchgallery.com




Friday, December 9, 2016

Expansion



Constructs, walls, paradigms
Jumbled and twisted
Push to the surface
Fractured
Forming a protective, brittle shell
Darkening the eyes of Soul

Forms
Once solid, unbending and unforgiving
Are now 
Lifeless
Powerless

Vestiges of old thought patterns
Old ties
Obsolete and impotent
Are forced out and away
Sluffed off
Cut off
The way is shut
I am me
I am mine

New patterns form
as
Life within me grows
As Light within me glows
A door to the Universe
Opens wide
My heart is joined
With the One

I am large
Expansive
No longer the child
(Though, I am also the child!)

The process will continue
The light will always shine
Filtering out what is false

Deceits are revealed
Falling away to dust
Leaving
Only me
In Light
In Love



Link to fractal image: Multiplicity Fractal

Monday, November 14, 2016

Dancing With Mom

                                                                                  * 
I danced with my mom tonight
Music played
People sang and clapped

Behind it all
Me, Mom and her wheelchair
Moved to the beat

I skipped, hopped and strolled
Spinning my mother around
Humming and singing along
Mom's voice sometimes joining mine

"I'm the happiest girl in the whole USA!"
"Mom, isn't this Dolly Parton?"
"Yes"
(turns out it was actually Donna Fargo)
"Swing low sweet chariot, stop and let me ride."
"The bass part in this song reminds me of Uncle Loren."
"Yes, it does."
"Que sera, sera"
Elvis
An actual Dolly Parton song
YMCA
Cotton Eyed Joe
On and on the music played.  
On and on I moved my mom 
In our own little dance

Every word she is able to utter
Is precious
Every time she smiles
A gift
I press the side of my head to hers
As we roll along
"I love you, Mom.  I love you."
"I love you!", she replies.




Tuesday, November 4, 2014

River's Edge


I sit at the river's edge
Deep currents and eddies
Bear you away
I throw a rope
of hope
of love
of promise
To draw you to me
To safety

It is not yet time
I am not the one
To save

I stand at the river's edge
Dark, churning waters
Carry you away
I release the rope
Relinquishing you to the care
of true Love

We are always truly safe
Though we know it not
You are in my heart always

I love you
I love you
I love you



Thursday, October 9, 2014

I See You


A glowing heat that can be blocked 
but not contained
Emanates through all beings
as love, thought, longing and peace.
When letting this vibrancy through,
We open the common heart that lives beneath
All human longing . . . 

Mark Nepo
The Book of Awakening



All I want
All I want
Is the One
The one thing

I see you

I fight past the veils
Struggle through illusions
of separation

I see you
Your brilliance shines
Reflects, resonates
Pierces my soul
One soul seeing another

I am you
You are me
There is only One
One hunger
One Source
One Voice

Speaking each and all
Singing through a million throats
Splashing myriad canvasses
With color and light

 Beauty
I see you!
You see me
Speak me
Sing me

For what do I yearn?
What is this longing?
Where are you, my Love?
My Life?

See me
See me

Expressions of love are not the Love
Representations of life; not Life
Fixating on what feels good, looks good, tastes good
Craving touch 
 The kindness of a lover
Not the cure

Windows
Through which light shines
Gateways
Through which to pass
Reflections.  Expressions.  Guides.  Avenues.
Not the safe place from which to live

Focus on satiation
Feeds the hunger
Focus on Light
Draws you through and in 

There is no shame in the longing
The grasping 
The wandering
All is rooted in the one desire
the one hunger
Common to all

Strung out
Lost in our addictions
Temporary cures fail
We fall
and open our eyes

I delight in the spark
I see in you
For it is also mine

I see you
I see myself
I was never lost.


Monday, October 6, 2014

The Perfect Life


The thing that has been - it is what will be again,
and that which has been done is that which will be done again;
and there is nothing new under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 1:9

Deep within each of us lives both a leper and a wolf,
both of which we are afraid of.
In Franciscan lore, they are our inner imperfections.
They are always there in some form, 
waiting to be tamed and needing to be forgiven.
Radical Grace: Daily Meditations, Richard Rohr

http://chp.deviantart.com/art/outstanding-sky-76271247

We close our eyes
Visiting the dream
Tentatively touching remembered magic
Impotently grasping for the life that was; 
That was to be

Please, no more.
Please no more poorly given love
Love poorly received.
Hurts unintentionally caused
I am the leper.  I am the wolf.
Fear bars the giving. 
The receiving.

There is nothing outside of myself which completes.
No sweet words.
No right touch.
No one's "faith" in me.
No perfect understanding of "truth"
No perfect life.

No place where children do not suffer.
No place where horrific maladies do not strike.
Where the right relationship, the right drug,
the right anything,
fixes all.

Always, always, always
The Source of all I need and desire
Dwells within.
Nowhere else

There are no new answers
No matter how badly I want a quick fix
(and sane explanations for the insanity)
Just discovery/rediscovery
Of what's always been.


Sink down
Sink into the solid embrace
Release the death grip
Preventing your fall

It's okay
Okay to fall away from self made protections
(illusions - delusions)
Structures of identity and value
Which inevitably crumble and collapse

Sing me asleep
Hit me awake
This perfect life
Carries me down and in
Friction removes the lies
Bit by bit

I remember again
 to smile 
through my aching heart.
Yes!
This is life.
Perfect life.
For there is no other.


The path of descent is the path of transformation.  
Darkness, failure, relapse, death, 
and woundedness are our primary teachers, 
rather than ideas or doctrines.
Richard Rohr



Listen to The Perfect Life by Moby

Oh, we close our eyes
The perfect life
Is all we need

You opened up when you had me in your hands
Slipping far away with the world at your command 
You sing me to sleep and then you hit me awake
It's a perfect life, a perfect life

I only want to be here when you're by my side
Oh I believe now, I'll love you 'til I die
You will sing me to sleep, you will hit me awake
In the perfect life, the perfect life 

Oh 
We close our eyes
The perfect life, life
Is all we need

Little Mike he, steps everywhere
Knives in his pockets and bullets in his hair
He has nothing to live for, nothing left to say
He's locking all the doors to keep the older wolves at bay

Spoons and foil are all he needs. 
A bed and some china
A lighter and some speed
It will sing you to sleep, it will hit you awake
In the perfect life, a perfect life. 

Oh 
We close our eyes
The perfect life, life
Is all we need

Oh 
It goes all night
The perfect life, life
Is all we need

Oh 
We close our eyes
The perfect life, life
Is all we need

Oh 
We close our mind
The perfect life, life
Is all we need

The perfect life, the perfect life, the perfect life

All we need



Images: http://chp.deviantart.com/art/outstanding-sky-76271247