Friday, August 30, 2019

Calm. Calm. Belong

Her beautiful smile shines
From photo after photo
She remembers
That she knew
Always knew
She didn't belong
An expert chameleon shaping herself to fit

The internal outsider
Sure that her otherness was sensed
Hiding behind the laughter and smiles

She looks through those photos 
And knows
She always belonged

Sweet, sweet child
There are no lines
But those we imagine
Those we were given and believed
The lines and divisions 
Are the lie
Never you
Never you


Those barricades can only hold for so long . . .

She began to breathe
To breathe at the thought of such freedom
She stood and whispered to her child.  "Belong"
She held the child and whispered
With calm, calm; "Belong"

R.E.M. "Belong"

Thursday, July 25, 2019

Melting Open

Every morning
Every morning
She woke to the ache in her chest

Day after day
Week after week 
Year after year
Like an old friend
Waiting to greet her
 A perennial knife in the heart

What am I afraid of?
* * *
What am I afraid of?

She protected herself
Encasing what she feared
Within a thick, hard shell
Never to be seen
Only felt

What am I afraid of?   

Then, one day
Her eyes were opened
And she laughed

There is nothing big and scary
I've only feared myself!  
Afraid my heart
Might lead once more to suffering and ruin
Not to be trusted.
Not smart enough
Not strong enough
Not good enough

Oh, dear heart
Oh, precious one
The heart is the wellspring of life
You can trust your true voice
It is goodness and love
Be not afraid

And her heart melted open

My heart melted open

I am falling in love with myself

Fractals can be found at:

Sunday, May 12, 2019


You were an orphan on this planet
Abandoned by your father
Abandoned by your mother
You fought
Oh, how you fought
Building internal strength
Pushing, stretching, reaching
Creating a life for yourself
Embracing color and light
Speaking your truths

Through the years
You fought the monster in your head
As it worked to destroy you
The disease given you by your mother
Another demon
Promised to destroy you
Bit by bit
Day by day

One day
Unexpected love showed up
Seeing past the darkness
To spectacular, amazing you
A dream you'd not dreamed.
You stepped in
Into goodness and love
Into sweetness
And magic

Cocreating new life
Together you loved and welcomed
Your many fur babies
Into Catlandia
A place of refuge and safety

The monster and demon
Were too much
We didn't see
We didn't know

You have slain your monsters
And we are left
With an empty space 
Where once there was sparkle and light

All we can do now
Is cherish what was.
Carry your essence with us
And look for the sparkle in others
Who might also be fighting their own
Monsters and demons
Your love and light
Your true essence
 Will remain
Part of us

Fractal images at:

Friday, May 10, 2019

One Heart Beat

Our hearts are one
As we play our drums
Guitars, voices, shakers and flute
Cowbells, tambourines and dancers, to boot

Many voices become the one
Joining. Flowing
Shining.  Glowing.  
Taking us places
We cannot go alone

Some songs may seem sweeter than others
Some beats might seem a bit . . . off
All are part of the one song
in which we live

I am new here
You welcome me
With kindness and love
You tell me my voice belongs
That I have a part in this song

Thank you

Our hearts are as one 
As we sing our songs
Dance our dances
And beat our drums

We are One Heart Beat

Friday, December 9, 2016


Constructs, walls, paradigms
Jumbled and twisted
Push to the surface
Forming a protective, brittle shell
Darkening the eyes of Soul

Once solid, unbending and unforgiving
Are now 

Vestiges of old thought patterns
Old ties
Obsolete and impotent
Are forced out and away
Sluffed off
Cut off
The way is shut
I am me
I am mine

New patterns form
Life within me grows
As Light within me glows
A door to the Universe
Opens wide
My heart is joined
With the One

I am large
No longer the child
(Though, I am also the child!)

The process will continue
The light will always shine
Filtering out what is false

Deceits are revealed
Falling away to dust
Only me
In Light
In Love

Link to fractal image: Multiplicity Fractal

Monday, November 14, 2016

Dancing With Mom

I danced with my mom tonight
Music played
People sang and clapped

Behind it all
Me, Mom and her wheelchair
Moved to the beat

I skipped, hopped and strolled
Spinning my mother around
Humming and singing along
Mom's voice sometimes joining mine

"I'm the happiest girl in the whole USA!"
"Mom, isn't this Dolly Parton?"
(turns out it was actually Donna Fargo)
"Swing low sweet chariot, stop and let me ride."
"The bass part in this song reminds me of Uncle Loren."
"Yes, it does."
"Que sera, sera"
An actual Dolly Parton song
Cotton Eyed Joe
On and on the music played.  
On and on I moved my mom 
In our own little dance

Every word she is able to utter
Is precious
Every time she smiles
A gift
I press the side of my head to hers
As we roll along
"I love you, Mom.  I love you."
"I love you!", she replies.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

River's Edge

I sit at the river's edge
Deep currents and eddies
Bear you away
I throw a rope
of hope
of love
of promise
To draw you to me
To safety

It is not yet time
I am not the one
To save

I stand at the river's edge
Dark, churning waters
Carry you away
I release the rope
Relinquishing you to the care
of true Love

We are always truly safe
Though we know it not
You are in my heart always

I love you
I love you
I love you