Thursday, March 31, 2011

Beliefs Change Reality

Information sits
in my head
trickling down
to the heart below
Where beliefs and meanings
Solidly rest

My heart is anchored
In knowing
What it’s been trained to know

Information flows down;
Knowledge newly gained
Reaches to touch and change

My deepest self knows

But, my heart protects
Holds firm
Over time
A truth gently wears away
A lie
Bringing a new

You know, when you know, that you know . . .
Words in my head
Intellectual understanding
Mean little
Until my heart accepts and believes

Then the switch is thrown
Everything seems clear
Suddenly, I walk in new freedom
Everything is changed
When I accept and believe
New meanings

Knowledge doesn’t change Reality
(or does it?)
It does change my reality.

When I thought I had Huntington’s Disease
I subconsciously gave meaning to every possible symptom
Even though, intellectually, I knew it was probably nothing
I caused myself to be less well, because of this unconscious belief.

Now that I know I don’t have HD
My “symptoms” have lost their meaning
I am experiencing new freedom.

I am remembering, again
That all is well in the universe
That I needn't try to fix or figure it all out.
Such a wonderful relief!

Our thoughts affect our health
(mental and physical)
More accurately, what we believe affects the body
Body, Spirit and Mind are all intertwined
We can learn to change each aspect of Self
We can focus on what is good and true
Allowing the thoughts to sift through our hearts
Until the heart accepts and believes
And we are transformed.

The key is to focus on what I know to be right and good
And when I'm not sure what's true
Choose to believe the very best, most freeing, of all possibilities 
(why not?!)
Remember, remember, remember
'Til my heart, in turn, remembers
And rests

Scientists are exploring, learning and explaining 
How our thoughts, perceptions, beliefs, etc.
Cause physiological change.
(Can you say Quantum Physics? . . . Epigenetics?)

We were created to flourish in love and goodness
We can affect ourselves and others
By what we believe, how we think,
and what we choose.  

Explore, explore, explore!
Reality is wide open
Wonderful and beautiful!
Indescribable mysteries to be seen, experienced and shared.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Lamenter

The lamenter stands alone
Face to the sky
Tears streaming
"Oh God, Oh God"
"Hear me!  Hear me!"

"Heal me."

The lamenter pours out his soul to others.
"Oh, how I long to be known; to be heard . . . "
"To be truly understood."
Words of comfort are spoken.
Hugs given.
The lament is shared.

Always the gaze is outward . . . 
Where is our help?
Where is our comfort?
Help us!
Touch us!

The lamenter screams his throat raw.
Grieving the loss of dreams once held.
"I've tried so hard . . . given so much."
Drained and empty
He sits
In quiet

And hears . . . 

A still small voice.

Inside himself
A truth.
A remembrance.

Be still

How much of my "worship" has been a
Reaching high to grasp and bring God down to me?
How many songs have I sung
Filled with the pain of longing
For what the words I sing promise?

Prayers of lament, longing and desire.

When all along, the answer was . . .

Look within
I am here!
Look around you
I am everywhere!

All is good.
All is as it should be.
There are no empty spaces.
I fill everything.

Rip away the veils



Love never leaves

Experience, Strength and Hope

I think I'm gaining some wisdom and maturity in how 
I communicate with others.
Until recently, I've communicated about my situation; frustrations, hurts, fears, etc., largely with a focus to get relief from my pain.  
I've sought understanding, sympathy, answers . . . love . . . 
from people who care about me.

In the process, I've dumped a lot of my pain on people who weren't necessarily in a place to help; or were too close to the situation to be objective.  I'm grateful that someone very dear to me expressed the frustration and confusion resulting from my random rants 
(usually with no follow up calls to share what had happened later, what I'd learned, how things had changed, etc.)

I'm also aware that I tend to shape what I say in such a way as to convince the hearer that my perspective is the correct one, 
when that ain't necessarily so. 
(I believe this might be called manipulation :-)

I am reminded that it works well to treat life a lot like a big AA meeting.  
AA encourages you to share "in a general way what it used to be like, what happened, and what it's like now."
The focus is on sharing your "experience, strength and hope".

The Big Book also talks about finding a "close-mouthed friend", i.e. someone you can trust; someone safe, who you can tell anything to 
(it's safe for you and safe for them).

So, now I am being aware of what I say to whom, 
and what my motivation is.

With most people I will focus on sharing my 
experience, strength and hope.  
(This would include family, for the most part, 
because they care so deeply, and so easily feel my pain.)

And I have a few people who are safe to share the nitty gritty, ugliest, most painful stuff with, because they can handle it and because they can offer guidance and objectivity.  
This includes people who can call me on it, when I am stepping into victim mode, or not getting the facts right.  
(They also love and accept me as I am.)

I am so, so grateful for people who truly love me.  
We are all on such an amazing journey.
It's richer and purer, the deeper you go.


Monday, March 28, 2011

I Am Enough

Little by little
Lies fall away
Burdens given
Burdens imagined

Bit by bit
I see
The dreams of my heart
Are not empty longings
Never to be realized

The Source sings within me . . . 
Sings loud and strong . . . 
Tender . . . sweet . . .

The chorus echos across the universe
The music of the spheres
Resonates in our souls
Vibrates in the air we breathe

The earth below our feet
Clouds above us
All we see, touch, feel, smell . . . 
Everything delights
In the rhythm of Eternity

I let go
I slow down

Being is enough
Cherishing and enjoying
Are enough

I am enough
For I have eternity within me
The I Am and I
Are one
More than enough

You were always here, my Friend
I've always known you
Even when the knowing was not acknowledged
or understood

Real . . . True . . . Love

I am complete
We are complete
The song never ends
It is well with my soul.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

This too shall pass

We are flowing through this place . . .
This space
Mortal bodies
Carry spirit
Spirit moves the body
Intertwined for a time . . . 

The only things that last are intangible, 
and all things of substance and matter are transient. 
Spirit is the truth, matter is the useful but passing fiction.*

This too shall pass
 *from Jonathan Ellerby PhD

Monday, March 21, 2011

Mystery Outside the Boxes

Mystery, I am enthralled by you
My soul yearns to touch and know the unknowable
The secret magic of the Universe
The smiling whisper
The quiet sweet voice
Of the Spirit of Love

You, who live in Eternity
You, who formed the intricacies
of me . . . of all
I nestle into You

I want to hold Reality in my hand;
Grasp exact truths with my mind.

You offer vague indications
Wafer thin intuitions
Soft, incomplete, obscure,
Romantic, beautiful glimpses.
As the moon illuminates
My eyes search out the revealed edges of You.

Here is the richness
The always varying . . .
Wild, crazy, unexplainable
Unplumbable depths of

How precious, my simple little boxes
My childish attempts to understand,
Label, categorize, sort and file away
What can never be fully known.

I have lived in this surface place
The place of “shoulds” and “supposed to’s”
Impotently applying the rules as I understood them;
A roster of qualifications (and disqualifications),
Acceptable (and unacceptable) behaviors . . .
A catalogue of negation . . . separation . . . judgment . . .
Dismissive of all that did not fit my safe paradigm.

I felt safe as long as I had the right boxes checked off
As long as I fit within the boxes I believed to be the right ones.
Applying my simple black and white approach to life,
I could quickly and easily categorize anyone I met.
These standards I applied to myself, as well . . .
Usually finding myself wanting . . .
Subpar . . . in danger of disqualification.

Life in the world of “shoulds” is no life at all.
It is one dimensional
All is based on appearance and perception
On fitting into acceptable patterns and shapes
Anything beneath the surface, not fitting the patterns,
Is squelched
Creativity dies
Individuality dies

Mystery, I long for you
For depths far beyond my imagination
For beauty and delight

Life outside my cookie cutter
Concepts of reality
Life way outside any box I could construct
That’s where truth dwells

Oh Love, I am so grateful
Grateful that what I thought was You
Grateful there will always be more
More to learn . . . more to experience
More to stretch my mind . . . my heart . . . my soul . . 

You are not static
Life is not static
How could faith in You
Be static?

Life moves and soars
Changes and is changed
I listen for your
Quiet sweet voice
Your smiling whisper
I listen and thrill
At the sound; the touch;
Of Love


Sunday, March 20, 2011

I am Safe

I am safe
I am one, always, with Love
Nothing can separate

Troubles come;
Vision becomes obscured
I forget
Feel lost and alone
"My God, my God, where are you?"
Just as the Father never left his Son
(Even at the cross)
I am never alone

Joined forever
Love that never ends
Faithful always

Always carried
Always safe

You cannot drag me away
I am rooted; connected; joined
I smile at empty lies
I turn my back on threats of death and despair;
on the fear of not knowing; not understanding
It matters not

I have traveled miles and years
through lands that felt forsaken
Toiled to shape a reality to my liking
I forgot what I'd known
Forgot my Self
Swallowed . . . followed
 Lies that hurt me and others 

But . . .
I was rooted always
Connected always
Nothing can separate me 
From Love

Brings healing

I was always carried
Always safe

My soul remembers
and rests