Wednesday, January 5, 2011

My Voice

My voice.  My voice!
I have no voice this morning.

Be still, Beloved.
Rest.

I want my voice!
I want to talk to people and go places and do things.

Be still.  Rest.
Listen to your body.
Listen to your soul.
Your weakness is a gift that draws you home.

Keeps you quiet.

So you can hear what is true
Value what is real
The home within you
The beauty within 
Which you so often miss
When you’re distracted by the exterior you.
So much busyness.  So much noise and activity!
“Look at me!  See what I can do!”

I found my value in that busyness and noise.
I knew who I was by what I did and what people saw.

No more.  No more. 
Forever?
Only for a time?
(once I learn whatever I’m supposed to learn?)

Not for you to know, Beloved.
Only rest in Now.
Things are exactly as they are supposed to be.
You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Trust.
Let go.

I mourn.
I mourn what was.
I mourn people thinking I was special and important because of what I could do.
(Do they remember that I exist?)
But, I still have all that I’ve done and been.
I’ve not lost it.
I've been blessed with so many wonderful adventures.
It’s time for a different phase of my journey.
Internal journeys, apparently.

The directions are easy to follow.
If my voice doesn’t work, it’s time to be quiet.
If my body feels unable to move, it’s time to rest.
(and learn to stop before my body forces me to)

Within me the voice speaks
of love and life and goodness;
of richness and hope.

A new language.
Learning to listen is not easy.
Old patterns of fear and desire for control
threaten to overpower.

But, the still small voice speaks always.
It flows through the cracks.
Speaks to me through the voices of loved ones.
Solid and true.  Love is forever.

********

To my readers.  If you have the use of your voice today: cherish it.  Enjoy the ease with which a thought becomes intelligible sound flowing through your throat and out your mouth.  
Perhaps, choose not to speak for some period of time.  Notice what you wanted to say, but didn’t.  Was it important?  Would it have made a positive difference?  
Did your lack of speaking allow someone else to talk when they might normally have remained silent?

Speech is a miracle.  An idea formed is translated into sounds, which carry that idea into the ears and brains of others.  Wow. 

And don’t even get me started on the miracle of energy: the ability to move when you want to.  I’ll probably talk about that some other time. 

Be grateful for what you have and what you can do!!!!!!!
Even if it's less than you wish.  
There's always someone "worse off".