Our stories intertwine . . . overlap . . . run into each other, as we chase the dreams in our hearts; the longings of our souls.
As we share our stories, we find ourselves singing along to the same song; melodies of life and love; pain and suffering.
Words of truth reveal our shine and sparkle, and reflect that of others. I share my bits and pieces here, in hopes that others will recognize the shine within themselves, as the light reflects.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Lies believed lead to death
Lies believed confuse and thwart true desires
Lies believed give substance to emptiness
Lies believed lead away from sanity; away from what is true and real
Sometimes our lies taste sweet
Sugar coated death
Other times the lies are clearly dark
But appear so solid, we listen and follow
I was born to love
I was born to make people smile
To lessen people’s burdens
My middle name ain’t Joy for nothin'!
Some time ago
I realized I was trying to disappear myself
Emotionally, psychologically, energetically
Attempting to withdraw from this world; from this body
I didn’t feel I belonged here
I am reminded that I do belong
I've let myself become solid again
Solid feet on solid ground
I’m just a human being like everybody else
No more or no less worthy
Of breathing this air
Treading this soil
More recently I forgot again Words of despair and hopelessness Insidious Whispered to my soul
Surrounded by people
Heart and soul exhausted
Aware of my emptiness
Bereft of any warmth or goodness to share
I can no longer exist in this form
I cannot survive being who I am
I cannot tolerate my existence
Empty and dead
Like a dry leaf that crumbles in your hand
Nothing. Absolutely nothing to give.
As I curled around myself
On the floor
It was as if I leaned into a room
A room of forgetting
A spacious room of freedom
Where I didn’t remember that I wanted to live
Where I could see the way to escape my pain.
My aloneness. My uselessness.
Could all just melt away.
I’d never been to that room before.
This was different.
This was real.
I knew it could be real.
I could disappear myself If I swallowed enough pills . . .
I leaned back out of the room
Knowing it would be waiting for me An easy threshold to cross
I didn’t know what to do
So, I told people who love me
Family and friends, they rescued me
Helped me to a place of safety
Once you’ve been somewhere
Once you’ve opened the door
It’s easier to return
I think remembering is one of the most important things we need to practice.
Remembering what is true.
Remembering all that is good and beautiful
Remembering that even when all you see and feel
Is pain and darkness . . .
THE LIGHT IS ALWAYS THERE!
Love is always there.
There is always someone who cares.
Even strangers, I discovered, cared about me.
All it takes is a whisper
All it takes is the feeble lifting of a finger to get someone’s attention
A call. An email.
Sometimes we’re strong and are there for others
Sometimes we’re weak and others are strong for us
It’s so crazy, so insane
To think one’s life not worthy of being lived
We are walking miracles!
Our bodies are incredible (if we really knew how it all worked we’d be in constant awe) machines!