Saturday, February 5, 2011

Who is the true self?

What do you see in this work of art?

First I see despair
Pain flowing from the soul
Down the cheeks

Next, I notice the colors
When hope is gone
There is only darkness and death
No color

So, I see deep, gut wrenching lessons
I see wisdom wrought through great loss
Remembering eyes watch

I have walked the road
I walk it still
I know more than I did
How long the road is
I do not know

Darkness and light
Bitterness and the promise of sweetness
That's what I see

I picture different parts of self
The spirit self is the part of me living within eternity
Directly connected to the Spirit of the One who made me
It is a solid place I can sense
I know it is there
I speak from it when I speak of joy and freedom

The other part of myself
Is all that is attached to this planet;
Body, emotions, thoughts . . .
This part I call Soul

My soul often overshadows
The deeper self of spirit
The voice of my soul is often one of
Fear and discontent
Frustrated with my weakness
Not understanding why I can’t sing and speak freely with this throat of mine.
Why I can't run and jump and climb like I used to.
Why my brain feels so foggy most of the time
(It's a wonder that any of what I write makes sense)

So, I often dialogue between these two parts of self
Reaching for Spirit
Reaching for the deeper wisdom and hope that lives there.

As many chronically ill (or addicted) people say
I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired,
I’m able to think that my life ending could be a good thing, even as I’m rejoicing in all that is good and beautiful.
The important thing is which voice I listen to!

I still long for a greater sense of relationship with God.  
Some day this may happen.
Meanwhile, I have this knowing within me, that I trust.

I feel safe and secure in my deep desire to seek life and growth . . .
Hope and health . . . and share it with others.
I feel safe and secure that my God, who is Love, and is described as a Shepherd, will not allow this little sheep to foolishly step off a cliff.

. . . . .

I believe the true self, is the spirit self.
The soul is made up of what I've learned and believed through the years
(much of which is untrue)
and by this very impermanent, decaying body.
That is why my quest is to know my deeper self; 
My connection with the Eternal
More and more each day.

I wish I knew the artist who created this painting.  All I can do is give you the link to where I found it.