Liminalist

I think, when asked what I "do", I shall answer that I'm a liminalist.

When in a liminal state, one is on the cusp; in transition.

Not always comfortable.

Well, rarely, if ever comfortable.

Yet, a place of promise. 

As I pass through liminal phases

I am transformed

arriving, one assumes, on the other side of a threshold with new ideas, deeper understandings, a more solid sense of self .  .  . 
something to make it all worthwhile.

The walk through darkness

Clinging to the walls of those bottomless pits of despair

for fear of falling and being swallowed up altogether . . .

Lamenting . . . crying out for release . . .

(such drama we experience in those dark places!)

The walking is part of the process . . . the not stopping.

Believing that there is, indeed, a threshold to be reached and passed.

Darkness can be a place of fear

A cavern seemingly without end  . . . 

A place to wallow and whimper.

But, it needn't be something to avoid,

nor could you if you tried (and we all try).

Where do things grow?

The darker the soil, the richer, yes?

Deep roots reach down for water and nutrients.

In which direction does the plant grow?

Toward the light.  

The seed is planted in the darkness of the earth.

Then, it seeks the light.

The roots must always remain in the darkness 

to keep the plant alive

There's life in the darkness

My roots grow deep into secrets of love and wisdom 

They touch and delve ever deeper

in order to keep me alive

and carry me toward and through my next liminal experience;

to help me past my next threshold.

There is much to be learned in the dark times.

Much to be winnowed away.

One tends to be leaner and cleaner 

on the other side

Bits of falseness cleared out;

pieces of bitterness and blame;

hatred and shame . . . 

These remain behind

as you step into the light once again.

After each time of transition

(though, it seems to me that life's just one transition after another!)

I believe there are fewer lies in one's head and heart

and more awareness of truth (to hold onto when going through the next one)

Nope, not always a fun place . . .

I spend a lot of my time feeling that I'm wandering in the darkness,

saying and doing silly or hurtful things,

feeling clueless and desperate to get out

But, those sweet tastes of richness;

tastes of something beyond

the delicate melodies that call me onward . . .

keep me moving.

(and sometimes it's a kick in the pants that does it)

The sweetness is always there

My roots remind me

Deep inside I always know

There is beauty and goodness

and a healthier self

just a little further down the road.

Of course, not all liminal times are dark

I've just been traveling through some dark ones recently

Sometimes, I've felt a bit disconnected; 

my bits not quite fitting together as they used to.

I've described elsewhere times of feeling fluid or vaporous.

All very interesting.

Actually, if you will allow me to take greater liberties with this one word,

aren't we all a bit liminal all the time?

Aren't there always parts of us in some form of transition . . . a place in between . . . be it physical, emotional, mental . . . ?

All the universe is in continual movement, change and realignment.

Our awareness is what varies more than the reality of change. 

I envision these little cusps all around us 

Little golden bursts of newness and rebirth!

Unlimited varieties of transitional growth 

Mountains, plants, animals, us . . .

A quote I saw today:

"May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love."


p.s. I'm very surely not making light of people who suffer during times of darkness (my drama comment).  The pain and suffering are very real. It's just sometimes when I look back, I wonder how I could have gotten so bent out of shape.  oh, right, I'm human.)

(I really, really planned on making this a shorter post!  

Oh, well.  Greetings to those who made it to the end.)