Friday, February 11, 2011

If Wishes Were Fishes

We wish for love.  We are swimming in a sea of it.  Love flows around and through everything and everyone in this universe. 

I want what is real . . .
to feel what is real . . . to experience . . . know deeply . . . completely . .  
true reality.

I fight the real when it doesn’t suit me
When my body or situation don’t please me

Yet, I say I want what is real and true.

There are two layers or planes, of reality
The reality of this planet is a mixed bag of joy and sorrows:
pleasures and pain . . . and loss.
This is the small “r” reality: the one with which I argue.

Big “R” Reality is the spiritual one
The unseen, yet very real, Reality.
Connection with Reality helps carry us through the trials of this world
I guess I've also been known to argue with this Reality.

I want to talk about God
But I don’t want to be religious
I believe much of religion kills connection with what is true and Real . . it kills connection with God.  (I imagine I'll explain more what I mean in some other post.)

When I read Stephen Hawkings, “A Briefer History of Time”, or “A Short History of Nearly Everything”, by Bill Bryson, I think, “Wow!  This universe is a freaking miracle!   You hear it in the voices of the readers (okay, I actually listened to them on books on tape, which are actually CDs on tape, which is neither here nor there) . . .
They’re practically bursting  with joy at how amazing everything is.

The Big Bang alone is, well, miraculous.  One second there is NOTHING.  The next millisecond there is EVERYTHING.  In less than a second!  What?!  Where did it come from? 

And the more I learn about science . . . about the human body . . . about plants and animals and how everything works . . . (the eyeball is incredible) . . . the brain . . . the nervous system . . . well, everything is. 

You’ve got the quark, which is even smaller than a neutron (which is part of an atom) and then you have gluons that bind quarks together.  We’re talking really tiny!

And then the immeasurable vastness of the universe . . .

And everything somehow works because of “laws of nature” that somehow exist consistently throughout “creation”.   

Everyone has faith in something.  Either you have faith that some sort of Intelligence caused all of this to happen, or you have faith that this is just one amazing accident . . . that all these little particles of matter "learned" how to connect and form various living organisms, not to mention solar systems. (Or, maybe, belief that an intelligence accidentally came into being after the Big Bang and is now keeping things going?)

Call me crazy, but, even though saying God did it all doesn’t really explain anything, since where did God come from? it still makes a whole lot more sense to me to believe that the universe happened on purpose, rather than by accident. 

Then there’s an added dimension. 
The one that we sometimes acknowledge and sometimes don’t.
That there’s more to us than just our bodies.
That there’s something within us that knows there’s more; desires more, than just existence. 

Why do we hunger for love?  Where does that come from? 
Why do we search for meaning? 

There is a part of me that “knows” there is something eternal: beyond this physical world.  There is part of me that desires to be part of that eternity, and I actually believe that I am. 

So . . . I believe in a Supreme Being . . . Intelligent Creator . . . God.
I did when I was a little girl.  Changed my mind in my late teens, and somewhere in my twenties decided that he did, indeed exist. 

This has meant different things to me at different times in my life.

What it means to me now is that there is an all knowing, all powerful, omnipresent Being . . . Intelligence . . . Force that caused this reality to be, and is inherently interwoven into every aspect of this reality.
(This needn’t disallow evolution as a way it all came about, by the way.)

The most important aspect of this Being is that He (I use the word “he” even though God clearly has many female qualities  . . . we are made in his image, after all, and a good amount of us are female (not to mention various biblical references indicating such)) is Love.

I believe each human being is born with a seed of wisdom, with knowledge of what real love is . . . love without conditions.
It might be deeply buried now, or walled off, but it’s there.

I believe we all need to trust our sense of what’s right and wrong, true and false, love and not love, a lot more than we do. 
Especially, that love and not love part.

And that most, if not all of us, have settled for less . . . believed that love is less than it is . . . believed that God is less than he is . . .

True, perfect Love would NEVER hurt you.  True, perfect Love ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS cares, is ALWAYS kind.  You never have to be afraid when you are completely, perfectly loved.

When we are afraid.  When we are told that God is not what we know love to be . . . when people say or do things in the name of love that are not kind, not caring and protective . . . that’s not love and that’s not part of God.  Period!

Yeah, we’re all gonna hurt each other.  We’re human and flawed, and our attempts at love often fall short.  The important thing is to not let flawed human love be the filter through which you look at God.  And to not let anyone tell you something is love when it’s not.

I do not call myself a Christian because there’s way too much that’s been done, and continues to be done in that name, which damages and twists people’s understandings of God/Love, causing inexcusable pain and loss and placing burdens where there should be none . . .  So, I say I’m a God follower.

If wishes were fishes . . .
My wish to know Reality, is really a wish to know Love.
I think I do have my wish.
I think I’ve been given understanding of love: eternal, never ending Love.  I believe I’ve been touched by it, am carried by it and protected by it, or should I say, Him. 

He is love and kindness and beauty and so much more.
He has planted his seed within me.
This seed of love and understanding and connection continues to grow. 

Life in this reality can really suck.  If I could, I’d change a whole lot of things.  But, that’s not my job, and I wouldn’t have the wisdom to do it right, anyway.

Life in Eternal Reality is sweet.  It holds promise of something beyond.  This is where I truly live.  When I remember this, life is good.  When I hold all things in this reality lightly, I'm not so easily troubled when they don't go as I wish.  

We wish for love.  We are swimming in a sea of Love.  It flows around and through everything and everyone in this universe.  It's in every atom, or quark, or whatever!  We must simply trust what we already know (For the record, I'm not saying it's always simple, or easy).  Walk towards what is love.  Listen for the voice of Love.  Be a Love follower; a God follower . . . and enjoy the swim!

I want to add a p.s. to this.  Drawing closer to Love . . . following God . . . does not erase the pain and suffering that comes with being human.  For me, it's more like a touchstone I turn to and hold onto within myself, while I'm experiencing suffering.  Something that sustains . . . like a sparkly jewel in the midst of great darkness, that reminds me there's more . . . that there is something beyond what I can see and feel . . .

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