Friday, February 4, 2011

The Space Within

When I was younger
I believed I was a channel, a receptacle
For the pain of others
. . . . . . . 

I am a basket to hold disease and hurt.
I absorb.  I swallow into my belly
The pain and shame
To keep it safe,
Like a dead baby.
Giving birth to disease

I swallow and hold the pain of others
To be well, I must vomit it out, 
birth it out
Releasing the shadows; 
the diseases, into the world
Open throat.  Shame in, shame out

                . . . . 

Such a lie, to believe this.
To believe myself capable of protecting others from their pain.
We must each walk our path
Our pain is our own

I swallowed no substance.  Air.  Illusion.
My basket is empty
Nothing to let go of

There is no death within me
There is no death within me
Nothing to let go of but the belief
No more walls of protection
No more fear of being seen

I am in eternity and eternity is in me
All that I see . . . all the beauty . . . the colors . . .
The sounds, the smells. . . I possess them

Oh joy, oh joy!
My Creator . . . Love . . . Life
Real life
Lives within me
There are no boundaries
No barriers

I gaze at the mountains
I carry their majesty within me
I look to the skies
I am filled with color and space

All life is in me
I in it
There is no loss
No regret
Even if I never climb another mountain
I carry them within me

I am full of space
Space for energy
I am empty of death.  Full of space.  Life.
I am alive through and through
Nothing to hide in shadow 
All can be freely seen and loved
Smile child.  Smile.  Be loved

fractal from